5 Sickeningly Sappy Movie Songs *And Why You Love Them!

“If You Leave” by OMD – From: "Pretty in Pink"

“If you leave, don’t leave now. Please don’t take my heart away. Promise me, just one more night. Then we’ll go our separate ways.”

What teenager can’t imagine the heartbreaking, beautiful sadness of only being allowed one more night, for whatever cruel, cruel reason.

Never mind the blatant contradiction of OMD, singing in one line that they won’t let go of us at any price, and then quicker that you can exhale a deep, soft shuddery sigh of resignation to stay, they’re stating they’ll be running in the other direction the second our feet hit the pavement. Those New Wave British Synth-Pop groups are all the same.

“Against All Odds” by Phil Collins – From “Against All Odds”

There is something just absolutely irresistible about Phil Collins' sad-sack honesty in this song. “I wish I could just make you turn around, turn around and see me cry. There's so much I need to say to you, so many reasons why. You're the only one who really knew me at all.”

It’s so weepily pathetic you just want to wrap him up in a blanket, share a cup of hot cocoa and have well deserved, long-needed cry with him. Misery loves company after all. But when Phil belts these last lines out, “Take a good look at me now, cos I'll still be standing here, and you coming back to me is against all odds, it's the chance I've gotta take,” it’s time to sit him down and explain the cold hard reality of the situation to him. Poor guy.

“Glory of Love” by Peter Cetera – From: "The Karate Kid Part II"

“Just like a knight in shining armor from a long time ago, just in time I will save the day, take you to my castle far away.”

Despite the terrifying image that this line conjures, one of Peter Cetera racing toward us, feathered hair a-flying, on a grand white steed, whilst sheathed in heavy armor, this song really cuts right into your heart. And he so earnestly and intensely stares right into the camera here, nay, into your soul.

And regardless of his being so creepily intense, you know that Peter just really and truly believes in the power of lyrics such as these: “You'll keep me standing tall. You'll help me through it all. I'm always strong when you're beside me. I have always needed you. I could never make it alone.”

And maybe the only reason he is sometimes off putting is just because you love him so much that you can genuinely imagine him whispering, “I am a man who will fight for your honor. I'll be the hero you're dreaming of. We'll live forever, knowing together that we did it all for the glory of love,” in your ears while he makes to you sweet, sweet, creepy, love.

“She’s Like the Wind” by Patrick Swayze – From: "Dirty Dancing"

Yet another candid, solemn set of deep feelings set to the power of the written and sung word. But these are so especially special, because they are both written and sung by our very favorite Video Curator hero, Mr. Patrick Swayze.

Powerful and simple, yet cheesily artful, and of course set to the video of Dirty Dancing. The reason this song is so deeply loved, is in part, because of such bold statements, “I look in the mirror and all I see, is a young old man with only a dream. Am I just fooling myself that she'll stop the pain? Living without her, I'd go insane!”

YES – you know you’ve been there. Patrick is a simple man, speaking simple words of truth, directed at your ear drum with the power and authority of cupid’s brutal arrow. If you even attempt to claim you’ve never thought you’d go insane without a certain other’s love and affection you will hence be banned from the soothing, healing light of all things touched by Patrick Swayze.

“Almost Paradise” by Mike Reno & Anne Wilson – From: "Footloose"

“And in your arms salvation's not so far away, it’s getting closer, closer every day! Almost paradise, we're knocking on heavens door. Almost paradise, how could we ask for more?”

How indeed. Well, what’s missing? Why have they not reached paradise yet, we listeners may wonder?

For these two we can only assume this song is referring to early-stage relationship, sexual encounters. You too, can relate. The elation and excitement of the first couple times, but maybe you are not quite comfortable enough to, how do you say, “Cross the threshold”?

“I thought that dreams belonged to other men, cuz each time I got close they'd fall apart again,” says Mike.

And in response says Anne, “I faced the nights alone. Oh how could I have known, that all my life I only needed you?”

To which they both reply in swelling synchronicity, “Oooh almost paradise we're knocking on heavens door. Almost paradise, how could we ask for more”?

In short, it is a song of hope; of sexual honesty. We’re rooting for you two kids. Take heart, and keep on trying. That orgasm will come. So to speak.