Chic vs. Hick - The Power of the Nonsexual-Homosexual Friendship

Friends. What would the world be like without that buddy you rely on? The laughter you share. The one you can always drunk dial, confess sins you wouldn't tell a priest to, or drive off a cliff with?

But will your friends kill for you? A lot? Willingly die? Maybe you haven't had a chance to put that one to the test yet. The Curator begs to question, does sex matter? Let's find out.

The Films: Thelma and Louise, Tombstone

Viewing order importance: Either will do, but recommended as above. Because the Curator says so.

Thelma and Louise: A fine example of chic-flickiness, directed by Ridley Scott. Yes, Ridley Scott, with a plethora of wonderful co-stars that the Curator will resist writing about as we are wont to sometimes do. Abusive men and monotonous jobs set these 2 off on a date with destiny. Everything packed? Well let's see, scarves, sunglasses, fishing net, gun....wait GUN? Thelma what are you doing with that? Uh oh, here comes trouble.

These ladies were just out for a bit of fun, some good Ol’ Fashioned Honky Tonk Bar Dancing fun. But it's a good thing that gun is handy when Thelma almost gets raped in the parking lot, inspiring the birth of....the Toxic-Shock Avengers!! Females on the run, and ready to take no shit. Louise is ready to kill a man with his pants around his ankles in Alabama for her friend. That takes some ovaries. So what else will a girl do for another?

Well Thelma finally gets laid proper by the torso known as Brad Pitt, but that sneak steals all of Louise's money. Fucker! So to make up for it, Thelma turns to armed robbery. Not bad, not bad. But THEN! Thelma stuffs a cop in the trunk for Louise, and they both take on the gross truck-driving tongue guy. They've officially found their crime niche, and are pretty bad ass by now. But hunted. "How many times will they have to get screwed over?" muses our Harvey Keitel, one of only 2 friendly man types in this film? In the final fateful standoff, they decide to die together, rather than be taken alive. Thelma suggests, Louise agrees, a kiss, a hand grasp and off the cliff we go. Damn, that's tough ladies.

Tombstone: Already filled with manly comments such as "I'm your huckleberry," "Skin it," "Pull out that smoke wagon," and "Wyatt Earp is my friend," one wonders how much better it can get. Let us see how far man will go for other man.

First you've got the brothers, perennial co-stars Sam Elliott and Bill Paxton, who schlep their wives out to Arizona to be with brother Wyatt, and then you've got Val Kilmer, pre-facial mole removal, and glittery with laboring sweat as the fabu Doc Holliday. And all are be-decked with mustache. We are off to a grand beginning.

It's all fun and games at the start, boys making money, bonding over barroom drinks with the wives tucked safely at home, slowly addicting themselves to Opium. But when they need a "new sheriff in town," the brothers have a rift. Co-stars feel it's their duty, but Wyatt doesn't want to get involved. He reluctantly does when the cowboys are waiting for some man-slaughter at the OK Corral. Step up, Mr. Holliday. He is always ready to die for Wyatt. When Wyatt tells him its not his concern Doc says "That is a hell of a thing for YOU to say to ME." Well.

Gun fire craziness and the battle is won, but those cowboys are out for revenge. Kill Bill, maim Sam, and the wives are out of there. That leaves Wyatt, Doc and some cowboy defectors to close this deal. When it comes to the final showdown, Wyatt knows he can't beat that crazy Ringo. To save his friend Doc pulls himself out of his lunger bed, bleeding from the mouth, and finishes that guy off with the quickest gun-pull that side of the mighty Miss. We consider this quite a feat, considering the Curator can hardly get out up out of a chair after smoking a couple cigarettes. In the end, Doc is only taken out by the TB, after sending Wyatt off to his unending happiness.

Conclusion: It doesn't appear that sex matters much in the “willing to die for your friend category.” It could be just the circumstances, or the timing. The moral is, if you have that friend, the one you think will step up, hang on tight to that sweaty, scarf-sporting, gun-toting maniac. You never know when you're gonna need them.