Bad Ass Girls Like Bad Ass Toys

As the Amazon woman cutting off one breast to better aim her bow and arrow, so tough are the women on this girl power rock block. Their similarities beg a double feature: each of these fine ladies are the only one capable in their respective flick of stopping evil corporations from procuring or manufacturing weapons destined to wipe out the human race in the name of “security” despite their heavily armed marine type escorts, each has an equally bad ass Hispanic Lady side-kick of sorts who bites it in a rough-ass way near the end, and they both also have some pretty sweet weaponry and skills at disposal.

Aliens & Resident Evil

The Bitch Is Back - Aliens

In Aliens, Ripley is back from deep sleep in deep space, fresh memories of the Alien alive and well, and ready to battle with creature, marine and Paul Reiser alike, while savin’ babies from the clutches of evil Alien monsters.

Ripley gets talked into returning to the scary-ass planet where she first encountered the Alien, only it’s 56 years later and the planet has been colonized. Ripley, the only naysayer in a crowd of some 15 odd, battle-hardened marines, proves to, or course, be right about their survival chances. The Alien from the first flick was indestructible, and now there’s hundreds of them, crap! When pretty much all marines and cohorts are destroyed, Ripley is still able to sling a weapon of awesome size, and whilst haulin’ a kid around on one hip, remove the surviving few from the planet just before it is nuked into oblivion. And then, just when you think it is safe to go back to the mother-ship, the Mother of all Aliens shows.

Good thing Ripley, among all her other awesome skills has a Class 5 fork lifter operator license. Donning the “Power Loader,” and upping her bad-ass-ness to the nth degree, she is a match made in hell for the infamous bitch.

Go Ask Alice - Resident Evil

Alice is head of security for Umbrella Corporation, and evil enterprise manufacturing a terrible virus. She wakes up one morning with a bad memory hang over, and with only a fleeting sexy memory of the night before, promptly gets trained off to The Hive, a top secret underground research facility escorted by some kind of Special Task Force.

Fortunately she has time to put on her skimpy red nightie and black biker boots beforehand so she is appropriately dressed for the adventure and ensuing battle. Along the way we are introduced to a few special ops who are quickly disposed of, in gruesome manner, by the security system of The Hive, a sacrifice that must be made to hammer home the deadliness of this joint for the most inane of viewers. But said security system is soon after dismantled, unleashing the true horror – ZOMBIES!

Yes, every employee of The Hive has been killed and reanimated, becoming an army of the dead against Alice and the few other survivors. Alice obtains some weapons of serious weight and girth, and they are forced to crawl through tunnels and dank rooms, battling zombies all along the way. Eventually everyone succumbs into a state of zombie-dom, except of course our Alice. She eventually regains her memory, and even the realization that her pseudo-trophy husband released the virus isn’t enough to stop her. She is set to destroy the evil Umbrella Corp., and will do so even as a Zombie Girl, in a Zombie world.

Conclusion:

These ladies both live to fight another day. They may be broken and beaten down, but never fail to rise up in a dirtily-sexily way, protecting us all from evil companies, corporations, Aliens, Zombies, and corrupt power-hungry that love them. Sequels? Oh yes, but that too, is for another day.

Rated B for Baaaaad Aaassss